More thoughts: The myth of elder respect

Asian cultures in general are widely believed in the Western world to revere their elderly. After our extended time here, I don't see this. In a very small way this is true, but not in the way that most Westerners think. There are reserved seats on the subway for elderly. That's about it. The biggest way I see 'respect' given is that no one speaks out when the elderly act like total jackas**s to everyone else. Keep in my mind, we're not talking about frail old people. Most Korean elders are quite robust, at least the ones that get out and about - which makes sense since they are out and about. Getting around in Korea always requires some walking, so you can't be sickly and get around. I often think how difficult it must be to be handicapped in Korea. When we first moved here I used a stroller fairly often, and I noticed quickly the lack of wheelchair accessibility that we have in the States that also makes stroller usage easier.

Back on topic, let me give personal examples. I have been in the subway when an elderly lady slipped on the stairs. Not a single Korean even paused to look, much less help. The American friend I was with stopped to help her get up and walked her the rest of the way down the stairs. Another time, and elderly man with a cane got on the subway and when the train jerkily started before he could sit, he slipped. Not a single Korean on the subway bothered to even question him, so I helped him up and to a seat. I have a few more personal examples, but at the risk of self-aggrandizing, I'll stop with those two. What I have witnessed is elderly Korean people violently shoving and pushing their way to the front of a line or to a seat simply because it is expected that they are to be 'respected'. I had an elderly woman try to rip my hand from my daughter's in order to shove through us to catch the subway before the doors closed. She physically (and emotionally) hurt my child! I have to ask, What happened to human respect? Are we not fully human and deserving of personal respect until we reach a certain age? At this old age are we then granted permission to treat everyone else as less than human? For every one instance I have seen of someone genuinely respecting an elder, I've seen 1,000 more of an elder taking advantage of their privileged position.

Basically, this elder respect idea has been abused by many of the elderly. And I think that has led to many people to superficially 'respect' the elderly because they have to follow a certain code. True respect is virtually non-existent in this situation. Respect is not just demanded here, it is forcefully taken, and therefore, in my opinion, there is no respect at all.